Added: Christos Struck - Date: 11.11.2021 06:11 - Views: 28034 - Clicks: 7739
Sweet Jesus. As I was trying to decide what movie I wanted to do for my next Rom-Com Wednesday, I came across this gem, and I just could not pass it up. I mean, look at that title! It was just asking for me to tear it apart. After finishing it, I can tell you this commercial piece of trash is not worth your time, whether christian or not.
Now before I go more in depth with my review I need to make something clear since this is a spiritual movie: I am not attacking Christianity. I am attacking this movie, the people behind it, and their views on the world, just like I do with any other movie.
However, I do have to talk about some spiritual aspects because of this. Now, without further ado…. In an awkward scene, she scrolls through and criticizes several commercials before coming across one for Christian Mingle. Finally, she decides to give it a chance and she ends up meeting Paul Jonathan Patrick Moore. They meet at a restaurant in one of the most uncomfortable, tortuous scenes I have ever seen put onto a screen.
No, the editing and the way these two speak made me feel like I was having some sort of fever dream. It literally felt like they were throwing insults at each other at one point, but then they ended up thinking each other were cute? I am not exaggerating when I say that this was one of the most confusing exchanges I have ever seen.
This may be a masterpiece of abstract film making. But no matter how confused the audience may be, the plot must go on. This is the main conflict throughout the movie, and also one of my biggest problems with the morals of the film. She believes in God and Jesus Christ, but that is not enough. You are taking away a persons autonomy, and this film is simply not self-aware enough to realize this. They are supposed to all seem very happy which Gwyneth makes sure to remind us plenty of times throughout the movie because they have found Christ.
However, the way this is shown…is terrifying. All of the people are constantly smiling, always happy and beaming. I mean look at these people! And what is that guy in the middle even doing? The reason I hate to say this is because this woman is one of the worst performers in this movie, or any movie, ever. This is laid out for the audience in a scene that makes no sense within the narrative of this film.
Throughout the whole film we see the movie through the eyes of Gwyneth and Gwyneth alone. If anything happens, it happens to her. But suddenly, we jump to a phone conversation between Paul and his mother. Not only does this not make sense within the point of view of the film, but the scene is completely pointless! I promise you, the audience is not as dumb as you are assuming they are. Well Paul ends up going to Mexico to help the less fortunate, and Gwyneth abruptly goes as well.
Paul confronts her about it and says how upset he is that she lied to him. She apologizes and says that he has helped her on her journey and hopes he continues to help her. He declines. Once she fully blossoms into her sweet Christian butterfly she goes back to see Paul again, who is now dating the girl his mother wanted him to date.
They meet again for coffee where Gwyneth tells Paul to take more risks and Paul basically tells her off and she ends up crying that night. But, once again, this is another moment for her to get closer to God. By this point this movie had gotten so incomprehensible, boring, and had been hitting the same note for so long it felt like I was in a room with my friends three year old nephew who had just gotten a xylophone for the first time.
Gwyneth ends up quitting her job, because apparently she had been lying all the time at her job? This point was never really brought up earlier. There was a sub-plot where she has to try to sell a pill that will help men grow their hair back, but this always seemed like a terribly unfunny sub-plot. Anyway, she quits her job and then ends up going down to the town in Mexico she visited and earlier begins teaching the kids there. However, she apparently never learned Spanish so all the kids have to speak English to her?
Either way, surprise surprise, Paul shows up and they end up living happily ever after. The end. First off, all of the basic things that make it a movie are barely passable in this thing. The only actor that is passable is Lacey Chabert as Gwyneth, all the other acting is attempting to be funny but is really just painful. For some reason he dresses up like a sailor, and he acts like he has never interacted with a real human being before. There is absolutely no chemistry between Gwyneth and Paul so I felt no sense of emotion throughout the movie.
This is probably due to the fact that no one felt like a real human being in this thing. Another aspect of this film that was aborrent was the editing. Beyond that, the camera work and music were completely uninspired, but I am growing to expect that of these kinds of films. And the last thing that I want to touch on in this film is a question: Who is the audience for this movie? So who is this movie really for?
No one. It simply is not, and should not, have come into existence. If you are interested in watching this abstract masterpiece, click the image below! So go ahead and buy things you would buy anyway, and support your favorite movie review at the same time! You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google . You are commenting using your Twitter . You are commenting using your Facebook . Notify me of new comments via . Notify me of new posts via . How can you trust that face? Thank God. Final Score: 1. Share this: Twitter Facebook. Like this: Like Loading Leave a Reply Cancel reply comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:.
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Rom-Com Wednesday: Christian Mingle The Movie